Purpose: we all have one, and usually, it
goes beyond our expectations. It will most likely transform over the course of
our lives, as it should. My purpose in life versus my purpose in writing this
blog are two separate agendas, but they are very much intertwined. Opening up
about herpes has allowed me to connect with individuals from various
backgrounds. Some are STI+ and have placed their trust in me. Some are social
media gurus who just so happen to spend five minutes engaging me in a Twitter
conversation. This blog has reopened a distinctly feminist self, which I lost touch
with after graduation. While I was still attending college, I had a blog, much
like this one. As we all know, days tend to fade together, leaving less time to
devote to hobbies we once loved. So I stopped writing publicly for almost two
years. This time around, my purpose has shifted. Yes, one of my goals is to
educate, but ultimately, I want to start a conversation—and I have been
successful in that endeavor thus far. Despite the fact that viewpoints may not
change, I am witnessing a conversation where one previously did not exist. That
difference matters to me.
This blog was not created on the premise
that it would only be read by those who know me personally. My goal has always
been to reach a larger audience. When I chose to disclose my herpes status
publicly, there was a realization that this is larger than my story. That is
how I allow myself to be so open for discussion, for confrontation, for all of
the above. I am reminded of the feminist phrase, “The personal is political.” It
was drilled into my head throughout my undergraduate career. I loathed hearing
it, and writing about it in my papers became a semester-long nag--but I do not
think I fully understood its context until now. By publicizing my writing, I am
setting myself up for an open critique. Good. Talk about it, talk about me,
that’s what needs to be happening. I have always been controversial, and self-admittedly, I enjoy it. I like engaging people in discussions
about taboo topics. I like bending the rules set by society and provoking
an alternative thought process. For example, when I tell
people I am an aspiring sex therapist, there are three distinct reactions:
1)
The
conservative eye roll and judgment
2)
The
male puppy-dog, “you must be a freak” gaze
3)
The
genuine, “Oh wow, that’s unique! Tell me about it” conversation starter
With
herpes, I am discovering the situation is much the same. I remain unfazed and am fiercely dedicated to my path. In addition to this blog, there are actions that go unseen in regards to my involvement in STI/herpes activism and awareness. I have reached out to several of my professors from Salisbury University, my alma mater, and will be speaking there later this year. This week, I was invited to be a guest on a local radio show discussing sex. These steps seems small, but they are the foundation for furthering such a platform for sexual education and STI awareness. I am honored to be one voice in a sea of many.
